A Happy Man to Keep
There are some related social ills
for which we’ve long sought cures
and whose symptoms we all feel.
Although they certainly
have impact on us all-
Men and women alike
It’s common knowledge
that violence and alcoholism
are diseases of men.
Unlike those disorders and infections
that can be fought with tonics and antibiotics
the cure for man’s complex is to reduce his stress.
To make a man happy
and keep him sedated as such
you will need three things.
It’s absolutely essential
that he has access to
the tools of his trade.
As long as they are functional
and no trouble in themselves
they needn’t be the highest quality.
Of utmost importance
is the state and condition
of the place in which he works.
This space can be at once
his escape from the chaos of life
and the greatest cause of his discomfort
Last, but in no way the least,
if you truly want to keep a man happy
is a happy woman for him to keep.
When I’ve said this before
to family, friends, and colleagues
I was met with cringes and retort.
I do not see the reason
for these common objections
“what if he’s happy single, or gay”
For it’s the plain and simple truth
if he does not keep his woman happy
he will never hear the end of it.
more by JACOB LAMOUNTAIN
Photograph by Jonathan Pendleton
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