Hold Steady

paradox poem
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Trusting yourself
To overcome your own misgivings
The losses you can never prepare for
The tinting of your safe paradigm
You let yourself let go of the work of
Thinking, visualizing, apprehending
Distractedly multitasking
Half-living your experiences
With fears protruding
Under uncrossed bridges
They all bare their teeth at you
And you try to count them
And see the angle they’ll come from
So their bite won’t be a shock
Though you feel their hot breath
The hardest part is forgiving yourself
For not being aware enough
Smart enough
Sharp enough
Fast enough
For not having it all together
For not making a better choice
For not preventing this moment
For not having armor or resources
Self assuredness in a blur
Memory slurred
Thoughts in a flurry
Tension stirs
In those moments you look for action
With darting eyes
But humility and honesty are your only gold
Having courage to show your neck
And offer what you hold
When you hear your fears toll
They crawl to reach you, aging you
With every inch they control
Trusting yourself
To stand still and
Hold steady
Your golden soul


more by ANNA ELISE

photograph by Jon Ottosson


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