Animal Dilemmas – Goats Donkey

Crazy Goat, sarcasm short story

Short Story

The Doneky left the Frog’s boot with mixed feelings. It was not exactly happy with what it learned it will happen to it in the afterlife. Turning to ash and then rebirth into a next life as tree was not an inviting future. Trees are helpless, the Donkey thought, they can not move and giants often cut them down with their axes. But the Frog did mention that the Donkey’s tree will grow big and strong. As the Donkey turned the idea in its head and started back among the throngs of pilgrims, it heard a familiar voice. Two voice in fact in perfect sync.

‘Wait for us, old pal, this place is a sham but the grass around here is delicious. Not for long with all these hungry beasts. What will happen when that Frog dies is the question. Is it also going to turn into a tree?!’

The Donkey was confused. The animals from the long queue to see the Frog turned their heads and ‘cz-cz-cz-ed’ in disapproval. ‘Go home you crazy goats! We come here to find peace not listen to sceptic bitterness!’

‘Sceptic bitterness, that is a good one, I must remember that next time I am chewing on the leaves of a tree. Because it will probably be the tree your mother turned into!’ The Dark Goat shouted back.

‘Did the Frog tell you’ll that you are gonna turn into a tree as well?’ The Donkey asked the two Goats.

‘No,’ said the Light Goat. ‘We didn’t asked it what will happen when we die. It is obvious that you turn into a tree, or a bush. Yes, most animals turn to bushes, but tree sounds better. Tree, bush, same thing.’

‘So what did you ask the Frog,’ continues the Donkey.

‘We asked it, where can we find the most delicious, freshest, virgin grass in the valley,’ answered the Light Goat.

‘But it was useless,’ filled in the Dark Goat. ‘The Frog answered, ‘In you heart!’ Whatever that means.’

By then the Donkey and the Goats had left the crowd behind and walked casually in the direction of the farmers’ settlement.

‘But we overheard the coming back as a tree story more than once,’ explained the Light Goat.

‘That Frog is smart, it had managed to convince people to bring it food just by smiling and telling them what they want to hear. Or what they don’t understand, same thing!’ Said the Dark Goat.

‘How about you big fella,’ the the Goats spoke simultaneously again. ‘Where are you headed?’

‘Back to the farm, where else,’ answered the Donkey sluggishly.

‘Back to the farm to munch away on the good old dry hay and pull the master’s cargo!? That’s no good!’

‘Where else am I gonna go?’

‘Go in the woods, in the deep wild woods where the grass is greener and you are free as a bird!’

‘I am too old for that, the woods are dark, cold full of wolfs and bears.’

‘Wolfs and bears! No! The giants have killed most of the wolfs and bears in these woods. You have a better chance at being made into sausages by the giants than to ever meet a wolf. And bears are practically eradicated, extinct, they all turned into trees. Well the giants are cutting those down now. Here is a question! What do trees turn into when they die?! We should ask the Frog that!’ Explained the Dark Goat.

‘I am sure it will say something like, the trees turn to ash and the ash goes in the Earth and then many flowers grow from it and in these fields of flowers bees come to collect pollen and make honey and travelers lay in the sun to rest,’ smiled the Light Goat.

‘What is sausage?’ Asked the Donkey.

‘It is something that the giants like to eat made from pigs, or donkeys.’

‘I am too old to be a sausage.’ Said the Donkey.

‘Yes there is that, why they keep you anyway, you don’t work any more, you don’t give milk, you are too old to make into sausages, what a mystery,’ said the Dark Goat.

‘Some giants are good.’ Said the Donkey.

‘I’ll believe you when I see one!’

‘Last chance old boy, from here we split for the forest. We heard a hedgehog saying there is a virgin grass field seven hills over in the forest clearing hidden from all. Pure green goodness that only the forest ghosts dance on. You wanna come? We only live once!’

The Donkey was about to ask what ghosts were but thought better of it.

‘I am too old for that,’ it said. ‘Good luck, at least in the forest your its your best chance to reincarnate as a tree.’



all stories: Animal Dilemmas

photograph by TaviPhoto

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