Talk 15 – Change

strange stories

Serial Fiction


On my bookshelf I have some books, not a lot. I have a collection of records, a Buddha statue with an incense burner, a  couple bottles of wine – gifts, good wine that we’ll open on the holidays. And mostly pictures of me and my lady.
Well, it’s clear where your priorities lie.
Like I said the bookshelves tell it all.
I like your shelf.
I look poor but I am rich.
Ok, it’s cool enough outside to go on the roof, any takers?
Yes, let’s get the eggs.
Of course.
You guys are into the eggs thing?
Yes we are, you don’t practice? It’s liberating!
I’ll throw one.
Check with the ladies in the garden, maybe they would like to join us.
You have two dozens in the fridge – prepared man.
I knew you were coming, it’s a tradition.
Who started it anyway?
Nobody knows, some true artist, we will never know.
What if he or she comes forward?
And you gonna believe him?
My wife likes the paintings of an artist who paints with eggs.
The one that throws them at the canvas?
Yes, he injects colors in each and throws them.
Oh, I know the one.
Yes he’s been popular.
Ok, let’s paint the neighboring buildings.
Be careful with that window, it’s been known to slide down.
Thanks. Love, we are going to the roof to throw some eggs. You want to join?
Be careful at that window, it looks rusty. Should we join them?
Yes, I love throwing eggs.
We’ll meet you up there, love.
Don’t break them!
You want to carry them?
I think you can be trusted with two dozen eggs.
The door is jammed.
You have to lift it a bit.
Like this, oh yes we are through.
Freedom indeed.
I have missed your roof, the view is magnificent.
As magnificent as whiskey?
Don’t push it.
I can hear the flower lady door, they are coming up.
Let’s drink the last whiskey before they get up.
Why the rush?
So they don’t judge us?
They know we’ve had some.
But seeing the bottle is different, visual stimuli.
Ok, pass it around.
Small sips leave some for me.
One, two, three, me, the bear, here there is plenty for you.
Too much, but that way I’ll throw further.
Hide the bottle!
Don’t break any windows.
Hey boys, did you leave any whiskey for us?
We had tea, actually.
And prayed right!
How did you know?
Oh my god is that a rat?!
Oh, yes it is.
Give me am egg.
Don’t waste the eggs on a rat.
How did it climb all the way here?
On the outer walls. We don’t have rats that big in this building, only mice.
It can scale the entire building?
With the right motivation.
What motivated it?
Look at the floor, it’s littered with egg shells. The neighboring building dwellers indulge in egg throwing every weekend. The rats smell the food and climb.
So the more eggs you throw on the neighboring roofs the more rats go there.
A positive correlation indeed.
So just to be clear. Aim for the roofs, not the window or people on the street.
Copy that, moderator.
We throw one at time. Ladies first.
Hen farmers must be happy.
There’s a whole new industry of inexpensive eggs that are not meant for eating. They pump the hens with steroids and they shoot out eggs only meant for throwing, as it says on the box.
The train is passing. Look someone just threw an egg at it.
They do that a lot. We’re too far. And they’re passing a law against that.
People just love a moving target.
You can tell fifty percent of the character of a person only by observing if he’s looking out the window in front of himself in the train.
Maybe that’s why people throw eggs at the train. They’re studying people’s reactions inside.
Where are we going to throw?
The red building across the garden. They send a lot of rats our way.
I see. They even have beach chairs over there.
Let’s aim for the chairs.
Ladies first.
Here I go.
Wow, you are good shot, steady hands, no wonder why your paintings are so good.
Thank you, it landed on the chair right?
I think so.
Yes, it did.
I’ve never done this before. Plus we have friends in that building.
You can aim across the crest at any building you hate.
Ok give me one.
Oh, no, you have to throw harder!
It hit the window.
But it didn’t break it.
Once I threw an egg on that roof and it didn’t break.
How is that possible?
It just rolled. I guess it’s once in a million.
Ok, I’m aiming for the red building.
Oh, you missed the chairs but landed on the roof – score.
Is that a tooth brush in the corner, love?
Yes, it’s quite clean.
Don’t touch it this is where the rat was.
Ah, yes the rat, it’s probably his.
Yes, I think I saw him brushing his teeth. We interrupted his grooming.


next chapter: TALK 16 – GAMBLE

previous chapter: TALK 14 – ACTS

all chapters: TALK


photograph by Chris Lawton




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