Zedlist – Part Fourteen

Temptation of Jesus Christ
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Kevin was looking through the research notes Tim had given him, using them as a starting point to initiate some of his own online research. He was looking at demonology, drawing from folklore and theology. He worked his way through them in alphabetical order. There were more than forty names in the ‘A’ section alone so Kevin tried to narrow the search down to those connected with possession of human bodies. He started with ‘Avnaas’, also known as ‘Amy’ from Christianity. This was a male demon, known as the ‘president of hell’ who had thirty six legions of demons in his control that could all take on human form. He found that many of the Demons in Judaism also appeared in Christian theology, only with slightly different back stories. Each demon he came across had one thing in common; they had no physical form of their own. They could manipulate the thoughts of humans and animals or take control of them completely in order to act out their bidding.

The last on the list was the well documented ‘Zombie’, from voodoo tradition. Although many voodoo practitioners do not recognise Zombification as an aspect of Voodoo, others still acknowledge that this ancient ritual existed. It was said that those in the tribe who could not be controlled by the shamans or witch doctors, would be killed and brought back to life as undead slaves.

Kevin went downstairs to take a break from this morbid subject, Alex was watching T.V. in the lounge. X Factor was on and the judges were giving feedback on one of the performances. As Kevin looked at the celebrity judges he noticed a trail as they moved, it was faint on some of them and much more pronounced on others. There were things about them that he had never spotted before: The curl of a lip forming a snarl, the faint hiss at the end of their words, and their eyes were black and unfeeling. He felt as if a veil had been lifted and he was seeing them for what they really were; hideous, rapacious creatures all grabbing for these new unsuspecting young souls, naïve and vulnerable prey. It made Kevin want to wretch, the thought of food now repulsed him.

“Alex”, Kevin said noticeably shaken, “I’ve got something to tell you”.

Alex listened as Kevin told him everything, from the impractical number of junk shops in St. Leonards to demon possessed T.V. Divas.

“This is brilliant man!” Alex said, “In the three years I have known you have done absolutely nothing but sit in your room playing computer games and now this, you’ve really chucked yourself in at the deep end, haven’t you. Demons are taking over the world by controlling the minds of celebrities and you are going bring them down single handed? Fantastic!”

“I know that the demons are real. I wasn’t sure at first, but now there isn’t a doubt in my mind. I know it sounds bizarre.”

“Hey man, you don’t have to explain yourself to me, whatever gets you out of the house, y’know! Anyway, people believe in all sorts of crap man, all sorts of crap! Some people believe that there’s a big man in the sky who made everything. How can you ever really believe in someone who was responsible for creating someone like Dommy Osmond? I mean seriously, how can you trust anyone with taste like that?” Alex had a cheeky smile that even the most austere of grandmothers would want to pinch.

Kevin laughed, he liked that he was finally getting to know Alex after all this time. “I’m going out in a minute, I need to find a phone box that accepts coins.”

“There aren’t any, man, they all take phone-cards, there’s a public phone down by the garage. You can buy a card there. Anyway, why can’t you use your mobile?”

“It’s a call that I don’t want traced back to me”, Kevin said.

“I see, well, that’s your best bet then. Can you pick me up some silver king skins while you’re there? Oh, and a can of Monster?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, no problem, just chuck me the money later”, Kevin said making his way to the front door. He opened the door and there was the black van again. This time the man was back in the driver’s seat and was looking straight at him.

He went back inside, “I think I’m being watched?” Kevin said to Alex.

“Who’s watching you? Have you got a stalker? I’ve always wanted a stalker. It would make you feel kinda important wouldn’t it, y’know, special.” Alex said.

“I’m serious, there is a man outside in a black van and he is watching me.” –

“Oh yeah, I saw the van this morning, didn’t notice anyone in it though.”, Alex said.

“Well there’s definitely someone in it now and they were watching me as I walked out.” Kevin said, his words tumbling out.

“I believe you, man.” Alex said walking towards the front window.

Sure enough there was a man in the vehicle and he definitely appeared to be checking out the house.

“What should I do?” Kevin asked.

“This!” Alex said picking his skateboard up that was leaning on the wall under the coats.

He opened the door and went running out towards the van, waving the skateboard above his head like some kind of medieval weapon. “Go on, fuck off you wanker!” he cried, his Devonshire accent thicker than ever. Within seconds the van had pulled away and drove off, but not before Alex had managed to get a direct hit with the van’s tail light.

“Booya!” Alex shouted. “That’ll do it”, he said, as he loosely swaggered back towards Kevin, who was still standing by the front door.

Alex was scrutinising his skateboard as they went back into the house.

“That was a really stupid move”, Kevin said. “What if the he comes back with ten other men, what the hell are we going to do then? ” You really need to think before you act you know. Actions have consequences.”

“I know, I’m sorry man, I didn’t think it through. I just do stuff, y’know, without thinking.”

“Oh well, that’s ok then, you can tell them that when they get here with baseball bats and a heretic’s fork. You’ll be absolutely fine”, Kevin said, “I’m sure they’ll understand.”

“What’s a heretic’s fork?”, Alex asked after a pause.

“Trust me”, Kevin said, “you really don’t want to know.”





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Lucas Howard

When I was seven I started copying poems out of a book and telling people they were mine. When I ran out of good ones to copy, I had to start writing my own. I have been performing and organising nights on the UK spoken word scene now for over seven years and am most of the way through writing the first draft of my first novel 'Zedlist', which is serialised on here. As the story is in fetal form, any critiques or suggestions are most welcome.

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