A Second Date for Sheena
‘Get the nipple clamps!’ He shouted as he strained against the handcuffs, something popped inside the mattress.
‘Shit, Brad, don’t break the bed. Where are these…these nipple clamps anyway?’ Sheena teetered over to Brad’s dresser on her 5-inch heels and pulled out the first drawer and screwed up her face at the contents.
Brad cocked his head, ‘you got it, babe, they’re in there somewhere.’ There was a smile in his voice.
With her thumb and index finger Sheena extracted from the mess what appeared to be the same kind of clips she used in her hair attached to some red wire and held them up. ‘These?’
‘Ummm…no idea. The blindfold?’
Sheena giggled, ‘right, sorry.’ She approached the bed and pulled the blindfold, made of an expensive silk scarf, up off of Brad’s eyes and onto his broad forehead. ‘This is a good look for you.’ Sheena sat on the bed and beamed down at him.
Brad blinked hard twice and examined Sheena’s find. ‘Nope, not those, they go somewhere else.’
‘But whe…’ She moved her eyes to below Brad’s navel. Brad nodded. ‘Ew!’ She dropped the clips and kicked them away. ‘For your testicles? Is that even enjoyable?’ Sheena’s shivered at the thought.
‘Don’t say “testicles,” babe. It’s so clinical. And the clips are real nice actually; you know you can hook them up to a battery?’ Brads lips curled into a devilish smile. Sheena leaned over and kissed them.
‘You’re so gross.’ Sheena poked at the sheet that covered Brad from the waist down. ‘I’m glad I found out you’ve been zapping your balls into oblivion at this stage in our relationship. I know not to get any ideas about kids.’ The words were out before she could stop them; she winced at her own stupidity.
Brad’s face collapsed, ‘woah, babe! The only thing that could make me lose my hard-on faster than you saying the word “testicles” is talking about kids.’
Sheena stroked the side of Brad’s face, ‘I was totally kidding! Kids? Yuck!’ Sheena stuck out her tongue and pretended to gag. ‘I’ll look again and we’ll get that hard-on back!’ She said with all the enthusiasm of a little league coach prepping her team for the last big game. She pushed off the bed and stood up with difficulty. The cheap Ann Summer’s corset she had purchased on a whim after reading Brad’s profile was too tight, so she only bent directly in the middle.
‘Atta girl!’ Brad used the handcuffs to pull himself up to a position with a better view of Sheena, ‘they’re somewhere in there, keep looking.’
Sheena began re-examining the contents of the top drawer. She mostly had no idea what she was looking at. She pulled out a small leather paddle and showed it to Brad, who shook his head. Then she revealed, cradled in her hands, as if it were some kind of precious, ancient artifact, a giant black dildo covered in veins. Through laughter she asked, ‘seriously? Who uses this?’
Brad shrugged the best he could with his arms stretched above his head and chuckled softly. ‘You’ve really never used any of this stuff?’
‘No Brad, I haven’t. I admit my past is, in comparison, quite vanilla.’ Sheena felt her cheeks flush, so she turned her attention back to the drawer and continued to rummage until she saw something she was sure she recognized. She removed it slowly, feeling the hard plastic mound and brushing her fingers through the long, shiny, black hair that was attached to it.
‘Sheena, don’t!’ Brad forgot the handcuffs and tried to get up.
Sheena turned to face him, placed the object on top of her head and held it in place as she whipped her neck around in circles, laughing. ‘I know what this is, but I don’t know why you have it. And how do you put it in, anyway?’ She held the plastic close to her face, trying to figure it out.
‘Sheena, what do you think that is?’ Brad narrowed his eyes.
‘It’s some ex-girlfriend’s old weave! You’re a freak for keeping that.’
‘No, Sheena,’ brad squinted hard before continuing. ‘You should put that down.’
‘It goes in your butt. Did you guys know about this? It goes in your butt and you look like a horse.’
Laura nodded emphatically as she spat some of her mimosa back into her glass, tears filled her eyes.
Grace was laughing too hard to answer and the rest of the restaurant was starting to notice the noise at table three.
‘How many rectums do you think that went in before I put it on my head? Do you think he washed it ever?’ Sheena covered her eyes with her hand and began to laugh with the girls. ‘I left him handcuffed to the bed…’
‘No!’ The other girls shouted in unison, a woman next to them turned around and gave them a look they could feel.
‘Yeah,’ Sheena continued, ‘he has a roommate, he’ll be fine.’ She smiled a bit, ‘I left the key just out of reach.’
‘OMG, Sheena, that’s hilarious. I would have shoved in that butt plug too.’ Grace made a swiping movement with her hand and a popping sound with her mouth, all the girls laughed. ‘No more second dates with guys from Tinder that aren’t in a public place,’ Grace shook her head slowly as she tossed a bit of croissant into her mouth.
Laura reached across the table, grabbed Sheena’s hand and squeezed, ‘at least no more that tell you their favorite book is Fifty Shades of Grey. Talk about a red flag!’
‘I know guys, but I thought that might make him more interesting and open minded. The first date was so great and last night he cooked me an actual meal.’ Sheena exhaled sharply upwards which caused her fringe to levitate. ‘I just want to find someone like you guys have. Someone normal.’
Laura patted her friend’s hand. ‘You will, Sheena. You will.’
more by LEE ANNE HILL
photograph by Daniele Zedda