I Yearn To Be Unambivalent With You!

Put Your Hands Up

I yearn to be unambivalent with you!

I want to be drawn so near
I’d know the scent of your amber locks.
I want to be enfolded into your breasts of azure
so I might declare my love to you.

When will you gaze upon my eyes and
see the man beneath — not their shape?
Will I remain your stepson always?
Will my sons be your second family the same?

Oh America,
I want to stray into your heartland,
down its back roads, and be welcomed,
or rejected, as a northern yank — not a foreigner.

I want to attend an Olympic event,
hoist Old Glory into the air,
thrust my fist, and holler ”U S A!”
without an impostor’s unease.

I want to plunge headlong into love
with a golden-haired American pie,
unaware of extraneous reasons for which
I don’t fit her dream’s image.

Ms. America,
will you ever embrace me so assuredly
I’d rush into your wars without seeking just cause?
I want to know this privilege.

For I’d fight beside my Caucasian brothers
until my blood has emptied, forgo my life for theirs,
and endure the sting of their hazing, dignified —
if certain they regard me as their own.


(In memoriam: Pvt. Danny Chen)


more by JUN HUA EA


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